Category Archives: Uncategorized

REPEAT: Don’t Burn Bridges

​What. A. Week.

I am nowhere near perfect. I have made many mistakes. I have burned myself and I have learned. I have also found my voice.

After hearing from a few loved ones who have made similar life changes I have also had to make in the last year or so, this old photo seems so fitting. Be it a city, relationship or work, I have had people confide in me regarding a few versions of all three recently.

I’ve said it before I left (to myself), and I continue to say it after (to others): If you are ever in a situation that is toxic, stand up for yourself (and safely leave if able). If someone above you is doing wrong, speak up. If someone comes to you saying they are afraid to speak up but things need to change, be their voice. 
Those whom you fear or do not trust may try to tear you down, twist your words, and leave you helpless or hopeless. But eventually, the light of truth will shine upon those who are wrong and hurtful.

It will never be easy but do not be afraid of the truth. Do not be afraid of change. Do not be afraid that you will have nowhere else to go.

 
Do good. Be good. Be true to you.

And, to those who make it difficult for those who want to do the right thing and want better: DON’T BURN BRIDGES.

** Sometimes you can be a part of something big and amazing. Sometimes, youcan expose the truth and be a part of something bigger and more amazing.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

It’s been 27 years…

On this day 27 years ago, my father and I woke up and began our day just like any other.

Little did we know, as our morning went on, our world would never be the same…
It’s been 27 years since I have seen your face…

27 years of pain, questions, confusion and sadness. 27 years of a family holding each other extra tight, loving extra hard, and forming an unbreakable bond. 

Wherever you are, know that I love you, and always have. You haven’t been next to me since I was 3, but you’re always in my heart. I may not know you, but I know I am like you in many ways.
You will forever be a part of me. I will always love you. You are beautiful. You are my mother. 

One day I hope to have answers, but until then, I also know that one day, I will see you again.

http://www.charleyproject.org/cases/o/obrien-krueger_kerry.html”>http://www.charleyproject.org/cases/o/obrien-krueger_kerry.html”>http://www.charleyproject.org/cases/o/obrien-krueger_kerry.html

http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/cold-case-spotlight/cold-case-spotlight-kerry-obrien-krueger-n263451″>http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/cold-case-spotlight/cold-case-spotlight-kerry-obrien-krueger-n263451″>http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/cold-case-spotlight/cold-case-spotlight-kerry-obrien-krueger-n263451

http://m.journaltimes.com/news/local/after-years-family-still-wonders-what-happened-to-missing-mother/article_b38a3057-0e98-5b56-8e4a-2a340787456b.html”>http://m.journaltimes.com/news/local/after-years-family-still-wonders-what-happened-to-missing-mother/article_b38a3057-0e98-5b56-8e4a-2a340787456b.html”>http://m.journaltimes.com/news/local/after-years-family-still-wonders-what-happened-to-missing-mother/article_b38a3057-0e98-5b56-8e4a-2a340787456b.html

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

International Women’s Day

As it is #InternationalWomensDay , I felt it appropriate to re-share my post from several months ago…

**************************************

Well folks, here it is.

A few months ago I received a message that a woman wanted to interview me for a magazine about womanhood, identity and femininity. She had heard the story about my mother and specifically sought me out to see how that shaped my views as I grew into my own woman.

That woman was Lou Stoppard and that magazine was @elleuk .

It is interesting, reading the stories of the other women, and then reading my own. My first thoughts are how uninteresting and unaccomplished and uninspiring I am…..WHY do we do that to ourselves?

Then I really sat back and thought about each of my words, and all of the memories and life lessons attached to them. I have made mistakes, I have failed, but I have grown into a very resilent and independent woman with the most sentimental of hearts.

It has taken years, but I can finally say, that on most days, I feel beautiful and proud.

I hope every person is able to find that feeling within themsleves. It is empowering.

Be honest. BE KIND.  Be healthy. Be confident.  BE YOU.
This is true beauty.

#IamWomanHearMeRoar
#loveyourself #truebeauty #noshame
#BeKind #mystory

image

image

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

The (ELLE UK) Interview – #woman

Well folks, here it is.

A few months ago I received a message that a woman wanted to interview me for a magazine about womanhood, identity and femininity. She had heard the story about my mother and specifically sought me out to see how that shaped my views as I grew into my own woman.
That woman was Lou Stoppard and that magazine was @elleuk .

It is interesting, reading the stories of the other women, and then reading my own. My first thoughts are how uninteresting and unaccomplished and uninspiring I am…..WHY do we do that to ourselves?

Then I really sat back and thought about each of my words, and all of the memories and life lessons attached to them. I have made mistakes, I have failed, but I have grown into a very resilient and independent woman with the most sentimental of hearts.
It has taken years, but I can finally say, that on most days, I feel beautiful and proud.
I hope every person is able to find that feeling within themsleves. It is empowering.
Be honest. BE KIND.  Be healthy. Be confident.  BE YOU.
This is true beauty.

#IamWomanHearMeRoar
#loveyourself #truebeauty #noshame
#BeKind

image

image

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Days Go By…and still I think about “She”.

Listening To:

Days Go By (Acoustic) – Dirty Vegas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONCY0xnefAE

Sometimes I feel I have exhausted this subject. Other times I feel like it is a subject that is impossible to be exhausted. This is one of those times.

I have written two blogs about my mother. “She” and “She: The Ruby Slipper Version”. I don’t want to use this particular post to once again explain the story…partly because the true story just isn’t known. But also because I know MY story, and while I have thought I have been given chances to share my voice, outsiders “sharing” my story have not correctly portrayed my voice. The only way that can be done is if I do it myself.

A few months ago, a reporter called me to interview me on my knowledge and feelings on my mother’s disappearance. We spent well over an hour on the phone together. She had reached out to me after she found my blog, and I agreed to speak with her. I had the best expectations, and believed she had the best intentions. While I cannot speak for her on her intentions, the way the article turned out left me quite disappointed. I had gone into the interview hoping to bring exposure to the 25th “anniversary” of my mother being a missing person. I did not expect to come across as someone who didn’t care, and apparently, according to the one comment that article received, I wasn’t the only one who read it that way.

Here are the stories, and I do urge you to read them:

http://m.journaltimes.com/news/local/after-years-family-still-wonders-what-happened-to-missing-mother/article_b38a3057-0e98-5b56-8e4a-2a340787456b.html?mobile_touch=true

http://m.journaltimes.com/kerry-and-megan/image_4e270ec0-b6ac-55cc-a137-8105722e9dca.html?mobile_touch=true

It even made the #NBC news “Cold Case Spotlight” : http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/cold-case-spotlight/cold-case-spotlight-kerry-obrien-krueger-n263451

A person by the “name” of “Kay Nine” (which to me, especially after reading the comment posted now reads “Canine” or, “bitch” (you know, female dog)…either way, it seems like a fake name…maybe she just likes dogs…what do I know, I am clearly naïve…) posted this comment on the article:

“Well, the daughter sounds extremely naïve.”

Really??!? This article was supposed to be written to return this cold case to the public eye. My mother is a missing person, and I have grown up knowing she is gone, and not knowing why. And the ONLY thing some OUTSIDER can say is something as insensitive as this??!? Well I will not stand for that.

I am here to say I care. And I always will. Again, I urge you to read the articles that were written, as my whole purpose is to raise awareness and bring exposure to this case, in hopes to one day find out the truth. So, I responded to Miss “Nine” with this:

“I do not believe I am naïve. I spoke with Miss Zambo for over an hour and many of my words were not used. I miss my mother and desperately want to know the truth, which is exactly why I agreed to do the interview. It is understandable to have an outsider read this article and formulate their own opinion, but I must say to assume I am naïve, and have that be the only comment on such a serious story is ignorant and rude. My mother is missing, and it is heartbreaking for myself and many others. This story is supposed to raise awareness and hopefully bring information and answers to the surface, I hope that all who read this can keep that as the main focus.”

This article was written by a journalist, local to the area where the incident happened. She is also an acquaintance of that county’s detective who came up to speak with me nearly two summers ago. The same detective who was in the wedding of my mother’s sister who was also interviewed in this article. If that isn’t a conflict of interest, I don’t know what is. If you are a detective, and TRULY want to find an answer to a case, becoming personal friends with someone involved is not the way to do it. A true detective must keep their eyes completely open and remain unbiased. A feat impossible to achieve if one is personally involved. Especially if it is a conflict between two families and that detective is clearly on one family’s side.

I have no answer to what happened. But I also have my own opinions. I also know myself and my life and how I was raised and who I was raised by. I also have read diaries from my mother from when she was between the ages of 13 and 18, as well as each article she wrote when she was the editor of the local paper. I may not know her, but “nature” does play a big role in a person’s life, and while I may have never experienced much “nurture” from her, I KNOW we are very similar. The things I have heard about her, and the things she wrote which I have read, it is eerie how similar her personality and voice sound like mine. We may not have known each other long, but we have a lifelong connection.

To say that I am naïve, or for someone to think that I don’t care is simply ridiculous. But one also has to understand that it has been 25 years. I have experienced YEARS of terrible, rock-bottom depression surrounding this. At some point, I HAVE to move forward, take care of myself and my family, and be the best person that I can be. I want to know the truth, of course, but if she is alive and left on her own, she has had 25 years to reach out. Most likely, if that is the case, she isn’t going to reach out now. If something terrible happened to her, and if someone knew something about it, again, after 25 years, IF they are still alive, they most likely wouldn’t stand up now. I am a human. I have feelings, and I have very strong feelings about this. But I realized that for my health and my sanity and for every other outside aspect of my life, this can control me no longer. I want to know, and I invite the truth, but it cannot be my main focus. I have people who love me, and have taken care of me, and no matter what happened to her, they are here and they always have been, and I will not take them for granted. I spent years feeling she left me. I spent years hating a person I didn’t know. I have grown up, learned more about myself, and through speaking with family and reading her diaries and newspaper articles, I have learned more about her. There is no more hate. No more anger. I, personally, truly believe she left on her own. I believe she wasn’t just unhappy, but I believe she had a mental disorder. Whether that be depression, or if she was manic, or bipolar, or something else, I believe it was something she couldn’t control and that she left to allow those she left behind to have a better life without her. I do hope she is still out there. I do hope she reads this. I do hope she knows she is loved and forgiven by myself and my father.

But I also want her, and everyone else to understand that I was only 3 years old when she went missing. I never really knew her. I was also very, very much loved and taken care of by my father, grandparents and the rest of my dad’s side of the family. I had a happy childhood. That doesn’t mean I don’t care, because I do. It just affected me later in life. What it means is that my family is wonderful, and do not deserve what they have gone through, and still go through because of this.

There are many sides to every story. Listen, but don’t judge. If you know something, do the right thing and speak out. Everything done in this world affects someone. We as humans need to take care of each other. Do good, be good…and have an open mind, with room for understanding and love.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

A Laugh at Yourself is the Best Kind of Laugh

As the family says goodbye after brunch,  my mother exclaims, “Megan, are you wearing 2 different shoes??!?!”

…turns out I was. I had been deciding between 2 pairs and got distracted before leaving the house…and going out in public….

We all had a tear-inducing laugh when I realized I still had errands to run. Do I take an extra 30 minutes to run home and change or do I just suck it up? (I have always been extremely self – conscious).

Then my mother says, “Who cares? No one will notice, and if they do, why care?”

So I went to the grocery store, up and down several aisles, got back to my car and had another laugh. In some silly way, it was exhilarating and empowering.

While making fun of someone or being laughed at is horrible, learning how to laugh at yourself is wonderful.

#ownit #WaveYourHandsInTheAirLikeYouJustDontCare

image

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

National Autism Awareness Day – Light It Up Blue

In honor of #LightItUpBlue #NationalAutismAwarenessDay #AutismAwareness and mostly, in honor of my brother, who has #Autism :

This year, my awesome little brother started High School, is in the top of his class, continued with Cross Country and won the Sportsmanship Award, joined several other clubs, and most recently, got his driver’s permit.

When he was much younger and first diagnosed, we as a family were concerned he may never achieve any of these things. He has surpassed those worries and is shining bright. Proof that a “disability” doesn’t necessarily take away from ability. I am so proud and full of love.

💙:idea:

image

http://www.autismspeaks.org

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized